


Suicidal Activities

by AnonymouslyFabulous



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Blood, But what do I know, Drift is a big softie, F/M, Has big mentions of suicide, Has suicidal hints, Is this how I tag?, how to tag, mature themes, may be ooc, oh well haha, probably shouldn't have wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 07:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyFabulous/pseuds/AnonymouslyFabulous
Summary: Y/N is caught doing some...questionable things to herself.Subject is self-harm so stray away from the story if you are touchy with this subject.





	Suicidal Activities

**Author's Note:**

> My first work on this site! Woohoo!  
> I don't know where the hell I was going with this so bear with me. I do not own transformers, although if I did, Breakdown would still be alive.  
> Anyway enjoy the read!

Y/N couldn't take it anymore. Having been kicked out of her apartment, and loosing her job all on the same day, her breaking point had arrived. Y/N was like a stress crack on a windshield. You push it just over the edge, and the whole thing breaks apart without a way of fixing it. 

Y/N numbly pulled up to the large junkyard, and let herself in. She parked in her normal place, and quietly got out of the car. Everyone was too busy doing their own things to even see her slip away into one of the many aisles of junk. Although one pair of eyes (or should I say optics) saw her leave without any rhyme or reason. 

Y/N glanced over her shoulder as she crawled through a hole to her 'spot'. She didn't want anybody to see her. Anyone in their right minds would immediately see what she was about to do to herself. If Strongarm saw her, she would probably arrest Y/N on the spot. She didn't want to have to deal with that today, thank you very much. 

Having covered the tiny entrance with a piece of plywood, she slipped the knife out of her pocket and set it down gently on a stack of junk near her. Next, she reached into one of the jars on a nearby shelf and stuck her hand in, groping blindly for a rope she had left there the other day. Denny always did inventory to make sure nobody stole anything while they were sleeping, so Y/N breathed a sigh of relief when her fingers brushed up against the familiar material. Grabbing it, she pulled it out and set the thick rope down next to the knife. 

'Which would be quicker?' She wondered. Y/N didn't even realize she was crying until a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly swiped it away. A fleeting thought was stuck in her head, screaming at her to stop and go hang out with the bots instead. Y/N pushed the thought down as quickly as it came. 

'Who cares? I'll be dead before anyone wonders about me.' 

Y/N rolled up her sleeve and picked the knife up. Y/N's arm was covered with past scars, some fresher than others. She brought the knife up and slowly slid it across her forearm, fresh blood welling up from the wound immediately. Y/N hissed in pain, cutting more and more scars into her body. The pain took her away from reality. It tore her away from her thoughts. She welcomed the pain with open arms. 

After she had cut numerous scars, she let the knife slip from her fingers and fall to the ground. It let out a barely audible clang. Y/N stared at it for a few moments, tears streaming from her eyes from both the pain and her depression, and then set her sights on the noose. 

She seized the thick brown loop and looked around her secluded corner of the junkyard. Up on the shelf was a sturdy-looking piece of wood, weighed on the opposite side by a number of different things. If she hung from her side, it wouldn't flip over onto her. 

Y/N threw it up and over, and pulled over a rusty chair that looked ready to collapse at any moment. She had just finished the loop for the noose, and was going on to finish the tie, when a calm, yet demanding voice startled her out of her task. 

"What do you think you are doing, Y/N?"

Y/N jumped, and the sudden movement was enough to send the chair to its limit. One of the legs snapped, and Y/N went tumbling down with a shriek, pulling and unraveling the rope as she fell to the ground. Y/N fell on her ass, her impact on the ground sent dust up into the air and she coughed, waving it away from her nose. 

A shadow fell upon her, and her little makeshift wall was ripped apart. Y/N shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand and stared up at the figure who caught her indulging in her latest activity. She guiltily looked away as she realized it was her guardian, Drift, who had caught her. Y/N sent a quick glance to Drift's arms and noticed his minicons were not attached. Hopefully they weren't nearby. 

'Damn. I was hoping for Sideswipe.' 

Drift was staring down at her with a cold, emotionless stare that made Y/N feel naked and exposed. She gave him a sheepish look, her face heating up with embarrassment. Slowly, she began to untangle herself from the rope that would have served as her executioner. 

"Don't. Give. Me. That. Look." Drift growled, each word dripping with anger. His voice wavered as he spoke, and Y/N caught fear in his voice.

'He's scared.' She thought with shock. Drift eyed the bleeding knife wounds on her arms, and she clasped her other hand onto them. A poor effort to hide them, she guessed. 

"What were you doing." Drift snarled. Y/N had a feeling it wasn't a question. She withered under his gaze, and shrunk back from him. Y/N averted her gaze to a particularly interesting part on one of the shelves. She could still feel his optics on her, traveling all over her form, probably wondering why the fuck she was doing this, and why she wouldn't tell him...

The ground shook as he took a step towards her. She threw her head back at him. 

"Don't. This is my choice." Y/N barely whispered, her voice wavering.

She didn't want her guardian to see her like this. She must've looked stupid and sad, all covered in blood and clutching the rope that would have aided in her death. A lump started forming in her throat, making it hard to swallow. The sadness anchored itself in her body and wouldn't release its grip.

"You're right." Drift spoke softly, as though he were considering his next choice of words. Y/N watched him closely. He took another step forward. 

"But it was my choice to be your guardian," Drift said, kneeling down in front of her shaking form. "And that means I have the honor of keeping you alive. Which means I will not tolerate such behavior. If you kill yourself, then I have failed as a guardian."

Y/N didn't move. She didn't dare speak. Her body was numb with pain and fear. Fear of what the others will think. Fear of what this will mean. 

Drift reached towards her with cautiousness, like she'll snap and snatch the knife just a few feet away from her and plunge it into her neck. His fingers ghosted over her bloody arm, and she flinched, slapping his hand away weakly. 

"No." Y/N said, voice barely audible. Suddenly, she felt guilty at what she had done to herself. But she had to do it. She had to. Being depressed every single fucking day of your life wasn't exactly living.

"Yes." Drift said. He reached back towards her and grabbed the rope, ripping it apart into little pieces and setting them aside away from her. 

"No more." With a snap, the knife broke in two between his fingers. Y/N watched him drop it too the ground, and then she broke. Y/N drew her knees to her chest, shaken at what just happened, and sniffled. Y/N cried. She cried and cried until it hurt to sob. She cried until her eyes were red and puffy, until the ground was soaked in tears. 

Y/N didn't even feel the large hands wrap around her shaking form. She didn't even feel Drift pull her to his massive chest. Y/N only heard his spark beat against his chest in rhythmic form. Y/N focused on it, her head pounding like drums were being played inside her brain as a fresh headache seized her. The cold metal pressed against her aching arm, and Y/N realized that Drift was going to have a very questionable bloodstain on his chest piece. 

Wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, she looked up at Drift. He was staring down at her mangled arm with worry and concern. He lightly touched one scar, grimacing when Y/N winced. 

"Let's go see Fixit." He said, stepping out of Y/N's secluded corner and into the fading day. He covered it with junk, and made his way through the aisles. 

"Not Fixit. The hospital. They won't question what I was doing to myself." At least, Y/N hoped they wouldn't. She knew that if Fixit saw the copious amounts of blood on herself, he would attack her with a barrage of questions, and once everyone heard the commotion, they would be all over her too. Y/N curled in on herself, suddenly feeling small and weak. 

"Please don't tell anyone." She said in a small whisper, barely audible. She wondered if Drift heard her. But judging by the way he sighed, he did.

"Do not worry. Although your actions were highly dishonourable, I will not speak a word of what happened."

Y/N sighed in relief, and they rounded a corner, into the open area where the Alchemor control area lay. Immediately, the whole area exploded with voices shouting at each other. Y/N glanced towards the source and found none other than Strongarm and Sideswipe themselves. They were practically shoving each other over, yelling about who was the best at combat. Bumblebee was trying desperately to break them up, but was having no success. Bee glanced up as Drift entered the scene, and his face dropped, his body visibly going rigid. Y/N hid behind her hands in shame. He opened his mouth to say something, but Drift sent him a look that kept his mouth shut. 

Drift transformed before anyone else could see them, and Y/N found herself sitting in a nice comfortable seat in the driver's side. The seatbelt clicked on immediately after and tightened against Y/N, almost as if he were hugging her. 

Y/N looked out the window and watched the world whip by them at incredible speeds. It was silent for the first couple of minutes before anyone really spoke to each other. 

Finally, Y/N sighed. 

"Thank you for...helping me back there." She mumbled, tracing the Autobot symbol on his steering wheel. The seatbelt tightened even more. 

"You're welcome."


End file.
